` SHANTI ♥.

you make me feel so

2011-12-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

life aint a bed or roses or a bed of thorns . yes indeed its a mixture of both. you have to learn to appreciate the happy times and brave through the tough ones . life has been pretty laid back this holidays . had some mishaps here and there , got into a job got bored of it and im trying to make the best out of it now . have been having liquor every friday and im kinda sick of it alr . i think i've to get back to other things . so yeah i quit smoking alr right ? my lungs feel way lighter now but i keep having the temptations to smoke sometimes.

im too lazy to blog anymore

:D

2011-12-02T23:56:00.001+08:00

with you

to my nanba , from me (:

the sandstorm

2011-12-01T20:05:00.001+08:00

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

♥

2011-11-26T22:26:00.001+08:00

why this kolaveri di

sheesh its an english song in a tamil tune

so many things to speak about , so little time

& its hard for you to listen to me :'(

nothing seems right , lets go left

2011-11-24T22:24:00.001+08:00

things have been in such a huge mess & i have no idea how to sort it out. I wanna let you know every single thing but but you wont even bother about my existence. Its so hard to shrug you off my shoulders , i feel like a real loser. Come back alr , i dont wanna guess whatever that's on your mind. I had enough , i wanna know everything and i wanna know now.

Impatient as ever & our heart to heart talk would solve every thing. I promise & i wanna hug :'(

lets have a decent good post (:

2011-11-23T16:12:00.001+08:00

im thinking of posting my archives on this blog but i have no idea if i should do so , nah i guess i'll do that some other time . So yeah O's are over now & i feel like as though some weight have been shrugged off from my shoulders . Another thing is that i changed my phone i wanted a blackberry but nah i listened to ma and got myself the samsung galaxy one i hope this would last for some time (:

um ya , so i have this temporary job where i read books to this boy doran. A super cute boy whose going primary one next year & i actually had the patience to read him those books (:

another thing is that today's the 23rd , fuck i just hate this date so fucking much. i cant believe that its been years alr and im still stuck in all these hate . I din feel like going out so i did all the housework and settled down with a good movie and my bubble tea. It felt good for awhile , then i started relating myself to the movie and thats when i felt like -'- but nah movie is over and im back to reality

so yeah im having prayers this sunday and kala is coming along ! i hope she wont change plans or anything *crosses fingers* i miss her , its been months since we went persada with everyone else together as one & listen to people calling her my sister cause to them we look alike

oh yes before i end this post let me post this picture (:

masquerade

2011-11-21T13:07:00.001+08:00

my female mates & each and everyone of them are awesome (:

my toilet friend to the best babi i had (:

a mate who was there for all these years (:

the super goodlooking male for the night (:

meet the sotong !

my senior who turned into a classmate

damn remember this ?

2011-11-21T12:56:00.001+08:00

unnakul naan

2011-11-21T12:34:00.001+08:00

i would like to repeat the advice that i gave you before , in that i think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing , or been too hesitant to attempt.

so many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security ,conformity and conservatism , all of which may appear to give one peace of mind but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future

the very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure . the joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have and endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different man

- author unknown

idk

2011-11-18T20:42:00.001+08:00

i want to back to being a kid where nothing was complicated or life threatening , nothing made me want to scream & cry in pain . Wanting someone and not being able to just be with them wasn't something i thought of , nor was being in "love"

love

2011-11-14T19:09:00.001+08:00

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

—	Louis de Berniéres Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

held me at one

2011-11-09T20:49:00.002+08:00

“I’d like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt.

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.

The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

2011-11-01T20:59:00.001+08:00

all i ask for is for my bestfriend to come back , i wont break my promise dey .
i miss you so much so that i've stuffed so much in , romba heavya irruku da . please come back .
everything is taking a toll on me :(

Passing by people who used to be your "friend"

2011-11-01T20:50:00.002+08:00

It’s sad how we drift away. You’re with your new friends and I’m with mine. You’ve changed and I have as well. Sometimes I wonder if you still think about the memories we had as best friends. It sucks losing a friend, especially a best friend but this is life and people change for the better or worst. Sometimes we just need to move on and find new friends.

2011-10-29T01:00:00.001+08:00

I thought you were someone I could trust.

But you let my heart slip from your hands, and I watched, lost in shock and in betrayal, as it shattered in a beautiful, glittering mess at your feet. And you smiled at me, smiled sympathetically, an apology ready on your lips.

And I, I can only gasp for air. The pain, it is indescribable. It blinds me, leaves me numb for a second, before it sinks its teeth into my empty hollow of a chest. It wraps itself around my throat, choking me, leaving me voiceless. Speechless. All anyone can ask me is if I’m all right, and all I can do is nod, because how could I ever explain? How can they ever know, how will they ever know what it feels like, how can they know how completely, utterly, hopelessly lost, empty, and alone I am at this precise moment?

How can they know how bittersweet the taste of betrayal is? The knowledge that I gave my all, my everything, for someone, to someone, but I couldn’t save my own heart? How I struggle between the need to cry and the desire to appear strong, to hold myself together? How I desperately need to run, to get rid of the anguish chasing me, overwhelming me? How my eyes fill with tears, but never spill over?

It is so hard to breathe, and even harder to forgive.

for you , my dear friend :(

2011-10-28T23:46:00.002+08:00

Gray.

I was waiting for you, all along.

But you weren’t waiting for me. I was your second choice, your perfect back-up plan, the one who would always, always come running when your world was crumbling apart, when all you thought you had you lost. I was the one you could never lose. I waited for you when you couldn’t find your words, and I finished your sentences like I thought I completed you.

But I wasn’t the one you looked at like nothing else mattered. I wasn’t the one who painted your world in colours so brilliant they made your face glow just talking about me, and I wasn’t the one you smiled with, with the kind of open, naked smile that lays your heart bare to the world. I wasn’t the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep, or the first face in your mind when you opened your eyes.

Beside her, I fade to a mere shade of gray, one that melts into the background like the rest of the world does when you look at her. Like she was the one you were waiting for all your life, and you see her - you see her like you’re seeing someone properly for the first time.

But you don’t see me.

part one

2011-10-28T23:21:00.002+08:00

i feel like if i don’t get through this, i’ll never get to you. And if i never get to you, my life will become meaningless. I admit, whatever i do now, i don’t do it for myself. I gave up on myself somewhere down the line. I lost hope and faith in me. i feel like i lost everything overnight. no one tries to understand me and why would they? i’m just another dramatic, stupid, ugly girl to everyone else and maybe to you too. i don’t know. i just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. i want to cry but i can’t. there are so many things that i would love to do but i just don’t know why, i can’t.

dear you , from me

2011-10-21T14:26:00.001+08:00

Surely,

Someday I will meet you again.

Surely that wasn’t supposed to be it, was it? Surely some people aren’t supposed to just walk into your life, make a space for themselves in your heart, curl up comfortably there like that space belonged to them, or them to it - and then leave, with only cold, hollow emptiness in their wake. Surely not. Surely some were meant to stay for longer than forever.

Surely you were worth more than a lesson, weren’t you? More than a memory, now rapidly yellowing at the edges, creased and worn down from being revisited too many times.

Surely not.

I will meet you again.

Won’t I?

naanum neeyai aaannanai

2011-10-13T17:55:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you read something that someone wrote, someone out there in the world, someone whom you don’t know and who doesn’t know you, never knew someone like you existed. You have no idea who this person is, what they look like, if their voice is gruff or melodic or soft. You don’t really care, either.

But suppose you read something that someone wrote, and it tore your heart apart by reading. Without your knowledge, without their meaning to, they reached right into your heart, right into the deepest, concealed truths you hid from yourself, and took the words you couldn’t say into their hands. They wove your story with their bare hands straight out from your heart, threaded all the emotions and the thoughts you’ve long suppressed into the tapestry, and displayed it on a wall, for the world to see.

And all you can think is of that one moment, one moment in time when those words were entirely yours, a memory which didn’t belong to anyone else. All you can think of is, how did they know? And seeing those words, seeing your own story reflected in someone else, it rips your heart into pieces, knowing that it’s true. That it’s all true.

And this sudden loneliness hits you, swamps you in its embrace. They will never know what they did to you, but you know they exist, even if you don’t know who they are.

Us.

2011-10-12T15:10:00.000+08:00

Same time, same place.

But you and me, we are no longer the same.

I don’t know what happened to us. We were an us, once, in a far-off time, and in another place. We were one, and now all that’s left is you, and me. I’m here, and you’re there, and there’s a lifespan of distance, both physical and emotional, in the middle of what used to be us. A yawning ache of emptiness that fills the gap between us, but doesn’t fill. Instead it leaves me with a feeling of missing.

I miss you. But I’m not sure if it’s you I miss, or the memory of who you used to be, or if it’s the memory of an us. We used to talk about nothing - all the nothings that meant something, something that grew into everything. We talked until hours turned into days, and days into months, and months into years. I’d thought we could have talked for forever, because even though I grew apart from people you were always somehow by my side, keeping the conversation going long after I thought I’d run out of words.

But now - now I look into your face with a shock of slow awakening, and I find I have nothing. No words at the tip of my fingers, no response ready. The conversation is drawing to a close, and I don’t know what to do except stare, helplessly, speechlessly, as it wraps itself up.

I don’t know what to do.

Meet the insecure fool

2011-09-20T15:06:00.001+08:00

Hello um yeah there won't be any photos today as I'm typing directly from my iPodI hate the fact that my comp is down . Nvm about that , okay prelims re over ad as usual I screwed history so bad that mr subra wants to Scold me for that . I mean inhate combine humanities . It's really not my subject at all moreover no matter how much I try to Squeeze into that puny brain of mind , it just won't work . Totally not my fault la . It's okay oWill try harder next time then And another thing , I spoke to a certain someone yesterday and screwed myself to the max . I miss that person so much now . Even though he did hit to my life I swear I have no idea why my heart still yearns for that person It's like you know if you go back you'll get hurt again but then your heart yearns for his love all over again . It's like being in his arms would be The safest place ever . It's very wrong yeah ? So ya I kinda told him to leave me and ignore me . Now I'm having this damn bad urge to dropHim a text asking him to come back to me . I feel like a sucker for his love . This can't be happening . It's O's in month , I need to get over this feeling Shucks I hate being so damned vulnerable :( Sigh I better get going now , I need to catch up on my sleep and mug till 2 tonight :/

let me leave you to wonder

2011-09-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

unmai sonnal nesipaya - ayutha ezhuthu

yeah thats part of my name & yeah im literally listening to that song now and um ya i kinda feel really sucky
cause firstly i think i have flunked my prelims big time and i dont dare sit for my O level papers anymore , the fear is really mounting . Its this self inferiority complex that i have developed from all of the negativity around me I would like to say that i might be wrong . Cause this fear is actually churned into a string of positive energy that keeps me going and holds me back from drowning into a deep pool of hopelessness . So yeah it works like this , each time you tell me i cant do it . I will actually mourn about it the whole night and rise to a new day telling myself that im proving you wrong . Moreover , im so used to telling myself that i cant do it and that im nothing compared to you . I have no idea if you would look at it positively or negatively but yeah it helps me though .

Recently , my Poa tuition teacher told me that i could never get accounts at all . That day i could clearly remember that when i came home that night i literally cried infront of my prayer altar . I prayed to the lords that i would prove him so wrong that he would regret saying such things . True enough , today im doing accounts with ease and i could ace the worksheets he gives rather easily . I just hope that i would maintain this efficiency for my major's that are coming up later next month .

Oh yeah there's something else i would like to express my concern about something that i saw on twitter and im kinda disappointed or should i say shocked about it . I know im nobody to express such a concern like this but mate how would you feel when some third party calls your sister unruly names . I mean you dont have to see to confirm such negative dirty remarks but hey wouldn't your blood boil ? thats the thought i wanted to express to all guys out there . No matter how bad a woman might have been to you , you have no rights to call her names .

Likewise for women , men do have feelings . They too do ponder over certain thoughts like how we women do every night . Im telling you this cause i have seen men doing so and i have sat through one to remember for the rest of my life . I would like to tell you women that , no matter whatever happens just let the men talk , if you need to express your view , do it so . If its gonna be harsh dont forget to apologize as i have mentioned earlier they too are humans and they have feelings

i guess its really too much for the day , i have got to go now but before i leave let me leave you a thought to ponder over . Do you ever wonder about how someone would feel when you tease them so bad and yet they sit there like a stone hearted freak ?

i dont dare

2011-09-09T13:43:00.001+08:00

chris brown - Sweetheart

` Yea , sweetheart is whatchu are ♥ (:

um yeah my last post was like what , 3 days ago ? pardon me . im bored & i dont own a facebook account anymore . Lol , from what i saw i think i should give up alr uh i should listen to what kala said then . Um oh well , my tooth chipped . The filling gave way & chipped . It hurts now & im on all liquid diet . I hate it , its so painful & i cant even think about having mac spicy anymore . Its that bad , oh well im getting a dentist appointment later . I hope it would be fine soon (:

& another thing , i have not touched any math book yet & im terribly afraid . I have 2 more assessment books to complete and here i am procrastinating like a whore . Not forgetting that prelims are on monday and that its about a month to o's . I guess i have to get this shitload out , quick . I cant be forgoing my studies just cause of one stupid guy ? its totally pointless

Another thing is that , my interest lies in psychology . But everyone , i mean everyone except my bestie wants me to take up accounts . i mean i know its a good job etc etc but my damned interest lies in the hands of psychology . I enjoy helping others . Sigh , i guess i just have to stick to lets-look-at-my-results first .

oh well i better hit the books , its getting late & i have something on later :/

imma hit this ass up like my last

2011-09-06T14:20:00.001+08:00

um yeah , i dont really look like that . I was bored so yeah was taking photo's last night . And ya as expected i din get the outing with fabian like a week ago i guess ? lol , pretty expected ehy

um , this week was pretty alright i guess ? have been mugging like a sore thumb for the past few days & yeah consulted arvind the ballroom partner guy about whether i should choose getting myself into a poly or junior college . I guess i dont have to be top 5% to get into uni . I just need to get the necessary GPA points accumulated over the span of 3 year course that i embark on . Doesn't sound that tough when compared to seeing myself sitting through another bunch of major exams .

i kinda forgot whatever i wanna type , um um i wanna thank someone for walking in and out of my life . Itsokay i will still be there as a friend if you need someone to talk to (:

godbless

k im finally done

2011-09-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

alright , this was my outfit for yesterday , it was center's 4th year anniversary and you weren't there .
But instead i saw your whole family & placed my burden on his divine grace . I feel lighter now . At least now i know that whatever happens its by his doing .

So yeah when i came back , it was seriously i shocker to see that you are the one who actually made the first move to talk to me . thank you so much but its okay . I miss you , i miss every single thing about you . Its okay , im gonna force myself to swallow this feeling down and pretend nothing happened cause in the end of the day im only gonna look at the cons of the relationship . i dont wanna look at the pros of the relationship . I will only make me miss you more .

On the other side um ya , teacher's day was the bomb ! really ! i love my classmates . Never did i think that the class party would be so much of a success . The food tasted real good & i need to thank weiting for taking all the photos of me eating . She makes me feel like a glutton , seriously . oh yeah , i wanna thank all my teachers for walking through this path of o's with us :D , i appreciate it

I wanna thank my primary one teacher , MRS CONSTANCE BEH . She's the best teacher any kid could have. I can still clearly remember that just because i was bullied by the guys in my primary one class and because i miss mummy she used to bring me to the sixth floor just to give me a real tight hug (:

And ya another thing , my birthday . So yea um 4 days ago it was my birthday . My pathetic birthday . Thank you all for the wishes . Nobody that special wished me and some even forgot about me . Nah its okay , im pretty cool about that . So yeah , fabian asked me out tmr night for a birthday treat . I hope it really happens uh (:

and another thing , im gonna contradict to whatever i said earlier . I miss you , i love you , i want you back . But i swear i wont be able to

MY AWESOME CLASS

2011-09-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

My bestfriend from sec 1 , weee , haha i love you la :D

Im only liking this photo cause we are both blueeee :D

4E4 graduating class of 2011 , is the BEST :D

i made a montage of whatever photo i had :D

Tonight

2011-08-14T20:48:00.000+08:00

alright , this was for national day . i feel guilty for not posting here in a long time

but i guess i have to get this off my chest , like now :/ okay here we goo :
i have to say every night before i head to bed , i do think about you . Yes that is how far you've affected me .
i know its almost been a year & im still stuffing everything in and letting life go the way it is . Im sorry , its too hard to shrug the past off so easily , so quickly . I have no idea how'd you do it but i just cant be like that .

Call me stupid , hurl your string of vulgarities at me but i really cant shake it off . Each time i give up you come back , why ? If you chose to leave me then why talk to me ? why give me that thought that you'll be back ? it hurts to know that i'm being fooled , over and over again . But what can i do ? sometimes i think im just merely immune to the pain rather than loving you . I feel so stupid though

Another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that i dont see you during sunday meetings but whenever we go to Johor for prayers , you're the only one who seems so attractive to my pair of eyes . It kinda sucks so much that i've tried sleeping it off & not to mention that i actually when back to smoking & shaked it off knowing that it wont help

Seriously , i've met so many other people out there who are way better than you but all that i've told them is that , oh no i like somebody & i call him spongebob . Everyone and i mean , EVERYONE , has been teasing me about that but i have this i-dont-give-a-fuck attitude suken in . Im just sticking to the flow .

Pardon me , im still not done with my ranting will be back soon uh .
toodles twaps

2011-06-13T20:02:00.000+08:00

I'm too lazy to update this ,
Just buzz off will you ?

Things that you do

2011-05-29T11:33:00.000+08:00

Oh well things have not been that great lately
I have just been going with the flow ,
Oh well my results came out on Friday.

I'm not that happy with my results tho
I mean where in the wOrld can you go
With a damm 19 points ?
& hello , im never gonna get my ass to
Republic poly !

Oh and coming to the thought About you
I feel that im really loosing hope
Really bad, maybe it's cause I think wayy too much

Another thing that suprised me was
The damm comments my teachers made about me
Never did I know that I was such a student

Alright folks ,
Goodluck for tour mt papers tmr
Have fun , bye love you :)

2011-05-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

no mood to blog uh ,

but let me tell you guys something ,

why ruin a friendship with a damm relationship ?

hurts so bad :(

2011-05-28T16:58:00.004+08:00

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

no incentive to work hard

2011-05-21T13:10:00.000+08:00

Okays , i really have to say this , pardon me for the foul language
Fuck the Picture uploading thing , My post have turned into
wordy ones cause of this shit !

I feel that people should really stop consoling one with ,
" Dont worry , there's always someone better out there "
Fuck you , seriously . I dont want someone else , i want that guy .
Its alright , i know i wont get him . But that does not give you a
stupid thinking that i will go after someone else , thats is what you call
stupidity .

Another thing is that , i've been so distracted that i have not been studying ,
its quite bad actually . I have assessments piling up and i don't really bother
about them . I really have to pick myself up from this mess and get back to work
tamil o's is in like 9 days . Im worried and extremely sad . Remember what you
told me last year before hong kong trip ? i still remember that whole text very clearly ,
sadly i do :'(

Oh well , as i have said earlier , i have improved in all areas for all the subjects i take
but what the point of working so hard & ending up with nothing ?
its like i have " no incentive to work hard " you get it ? k fine , forget it ,
all i asked for was a simple thing and now i know i can never get it , it really
infuriates me , i just hate it when things go this way . I mean you have to stick to your
words right ? If you know you cant get it , then say earlier instead ! i would be
one less of a disappointment .

Alrights , i've got to go .
Needa get down to little india for some shitty smelly shopping ,
toodles cupcakes

Being in a relationship.

2011-05-20T18:27:00.003+08:00

It’s not about the labels or becoming official. It’s about getting to know someone well enough to develop genuine feelings for them. It’s about being understanding and forgiving when situations are at their worst. It’s about loving someone, not for what they have to offer but who they are. It’s never about blaming your significant other for not treating you like how you want to be treated, it’s about how hard they try to keep you around.
- tumblr

I choose you (:

2011-05-19T22:26:00.001+08:00

Alrights , i think there's something wrong with the pic uploading thing
I've not been uploading any photos lately ,
im sorry :/

Oh well , i had this heart to heart talk with kala the other day
& boy i can tell you , i still like you with all my heart .
its too tough to leave someone who changed you for the better ,
he made me study for my worst subjects , he motivated me to
pray & he even made me go for prayers every weekend .
Not forgetting that he showed me that all are guys are never the same
& he never did control me like how any other guy would have done in
his place
but yet , like how all good things come to an end , he chose to leave me .

Maybe , i was in the wrong . Maybe i was never good enough ,
or maybe , just maybe he used me :/

I dont know , i swear i've no idea what's gotten into me .
but all i know is that , he was one guy who swept me off my feet
& made me change my stupid stereotypical thinking about guys .
I'm glad he did that , but now i miss him .

I miss him to bits , i needa talk to him . I need to tell him how much
life's been a living hell without him . I need to let him know that , i need
him to be there again for me , like how we always were & i want to let him know
i love him

Yes i tried to move on , i tried to move away but look at things ,
sunday was a killer , i cried like so bad after looking at you . You mean so
much to me , why are you doing like this now ? it hurts so freaking bad .
Im so fake , i put up a stinky strong front to everyone but i crumble
EVERY night when i think about you . Its that bad boo . I tried to mingle
with other people . Yes im sorry but its up to no use , i've been talking about you
all the time and now every guy would know , how much of a gem of a guy you are
& im sure that NO guy would ever replace you .

Oh you what boo ? i passed every single subject . But i flunked my Bio big time da ,
you know how much i love bio , but i scored a damm C for that paper . I cried , my
mind wasn't with me cause each time i studied my notes , you came into my mind .
I remember studying nutrients with you , i remember asking you to teach me TOA , CAH
SOH over the phone at night . I've remembered so much , this is what that kills me
each day :( just come back will you

well , i guess this would probably never happen .
I bet , nobody will ever read this . It sucks being me , i just hate being this way
i miss you , your late night calls . you're smoking sessions with me ,
you're bukit batok adventures & you're OCH & teddy bear treat for me ,
i miss that hug , that one damm hug . It still puts a smile on my face even if i were
to think about it now . I'm sorry , i guess these will never happen .

I just miss you so :'(

i beg to differ

2011-05-14T12:04:00.001+08:00

The pic uploading thingyy is being a whore !

i cant seem to upload anything . Alright , i'll live with it

Okay , let me start with what spongebob friend told me ,

he apologized , on behalf of his sickening friend . However ,

the only thing that kept me thinking was that he kept mentioning that

im a goodgirl which i beg to differ . If i was a goodgirl then why leave me ?

aiyah , i guess i was never good enough . I've gotta make a move again

but nah this time i'll just stick on to dating books and getting rid

of exam fears .

Second thing that got me grooving was my awesome math & chem results ,

NEVER , i choose to repeat , NEVER did i expect to pass maths with a B4 (:

for an F9 student like me , B4 is like woah .

alrights , i better get going . I've got papers to mug for .

toodles honeypies (:

my life , your story , our moments

2011-05-12T11:50:00.000+08:00

things have been pretty alright lately ,
kala's speaking with me now ,
we've settled our past issues and now we're back
& hell with those big mouths .

Bubblegum , a new friend that i've met lately .
he's a good texting buddy & a very good person to tease
at least im happy to say that i have accepted the fact that
you aint coming home & im glad that i've mates who'll be there

mid years was a big turndown . i doubt if i had scored in any paper.
I felt really under prepared for all my papers . its like you've studied
but you think you've not studied enough . sigh i guess i've got to start
bucking up for o's alr . 5 months and hell with o's its 6 months of holidays (:

oh well , i guess i gotta get outta here .
PS ; girl , you look better with the lights off ;)

:/

2011-05-12T11:40:00.000+08:00

New Boyz - Better With the Lights Off feat. Chris Brown

2011-05-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

its mid years , kindly quit your "goody" disguise ,

it looks kinda odd on you ,

oh well i ought to be back to mugging

ps : guard your heart at all cost

cause unruly people are out on a smelly hunt

2011-04-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

you've gotta hear this shit out ,
oh well i had a great afternoon today ,
explored a new block , had our heart to heart talks
& well , now we know whose the scape goat here.
Oh my honey , you're sure one jealous pea
i really think you have to stop being so insecure .
thank you (:

please , dont judge a book by its cover ,

snar `

2011-04-29T21:07:00.000+08:00

probably 30 days to tamil o's ,

boy fear is really eating me up now .

everyth seems fine this week

oh well i hope it just goes on like this (:

2011-04-21T20:53:00.003+08:00

You see that bright thing in the sky? It's the sun, the earth revolves around it, not you.

2011-04-17T20:55:00.000+08:00

Party rock anthem

everyday im shuffling :D

2011-04-10T16:00:00.000+08:00

photograph all those sweet moments we had together ,

make a montage and burn it altogether

cause hun , i dont keep trash in my clean environment (:

alright , this weekend has been much of a study session ,

i have been studying for hours and it feels like crap

without going out even for a walk ,

alright i better get going , imma catch that tamil movie (:

do it like a man dem man

2011-04-09T17:58:00.001+08:00

kids like him brighten up your darkest days (:

keep your dirty rags with you ,

i aint taking another step ,

you my friend , deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger ,

oh well whitley clinched a god damm bronzo for syf indian dance this year ,

i have to say , all the 18 dancers this year were united as one ,

our own dancing sessions , those serious moments with mummy

& those dance meetings right after dance

im gonna miss this group of dancers so badly

2011-04-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

JESSIE J ! DO IT LIKE A DUDE

buck up , start mugging !

Your dreams in the loo

2011-04-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

every woman's drop dead desire , have fun honey .

your ride is gonna be wild (:

you had me at hello

2011-04-01T20:04:00.000+08:00

esp for possessive men , grr

i wanna talk to you so badly but im afraid of being a pest

might as well sit back , relax and keep myself occupied till

your free then

oh nana , whats my name ? banana thats your name

2011-03-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

alright 5 whole days of sheer pressure
& yet i had time to miss you . This is life
suck it up shan

sia la

2011-03-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

i hate allergies , fml .

of all allergies , its seafood :(

thats how sucky life can be .

sigh , back to school tmr .

have fun

2011-03-19T21:22:00.000+08:00

Cause skinned knees are easier to heal than broken hearts ,

i mean whose mr/miss/mrs all so perfect ?

fml , school's in a day .

& im not even done with maths , sigh

:D

2011-03-17T16:50:00.000+08:00

Im glad that today i laughed hard , without anyth on my mind

2011-03-16T22:22:00.002+08:00

I DESPISE MYSELF FOR BEING SO VULNERABLE :'(

2011-03-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

i really wanna let you know , imissyou so freaking bad :'(

2011-03-13T21:55:00.001+08:00

♥ , come back soooon alr . I miss my cacat kak :(

Tonight

2011-03-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

tonights , one hell of a different saturday .
i have all the time this weekend but i feel too empty .
too empty to do anyth anym .
sigh . i hate being so vulnerable ,
my results have been sucking balls ,
i failed the most important subject ,
oh well , at least i know where i stand now ,
i've got approx. six months to o's ,
time to mug real hard , i need my damm course

oh my dnt problem , does'nt even look like a problem anym :X

well , this is life , suck it

2011-03-11T19:46:00.000+08:00

> heh , cheesy much (:
oh well , this marks the beginning of the termbreak
& i have dance for the 5 whole days
a new dance to choreograph , sucky but it'll breeze it thru
have fun , happy hols hunney

2011-03-05T14:12:00.001+08:00

every smoker should have this :D

2011-03-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

oh well everything's pretty fine , im just having that damm wild craving for REESE's now :D ,
sighh , i hope i get my bar sooon (:

oh my nephew's really cute each time he calls me amma (:

2011-02-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

so which mask are you wearing today ?

i regret my mistakes now , but whats the point ,

everything's gone now ,

just suck it up & move on

i'll miss ya bestie :(

2011-02-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

how cute can these things get <3 ,

as i was telling mum earlier ,

i did mug for common test this term , just that

i din feel that prepared ,

maybe i din manage my time properly or what

itsokayy , im gonna pull my socks

& prove all of you wrong (:

oh well things happen , suck it up and move on

its not the end of the world la !

2011-02-13T16:45:00.000+08:00

this is really heavenly !

if you haven tried this then

dude , your missing out on an awesome thing (:

been much of a lazyy lonely sunday ,

everyone's been busy with their valentine ,

happy valentines all ,

i plan on to getting a blackberry this year with that pig ,

lets see how things go meanwhile (:

have an awesome week ahead ,

im off to study & wait till mom come home (:

♠

2011-02-12T22:31:00.000+08:00

yes thats me & i was messaging spongebob that whole day

& thats the day fabian missed my dance show cause he heard from people that

i din want him as audience

& i cried cause of that , sigh i remember too much thats the prob.

sometimes , i really ought to forget & move

today's flag day was such a eye opener ,

i've learn something , giving really comes from within (;

& im looking at the both of us as friends , please dont spoil it

thanks mate

;}

2011-02-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

` S ♥

falling in love ?

nahh , not necessary when i have such awesome buddies around (:

2011-02-09T22:01:00.002+08:00

sigh , im backing out on relationships .
like FUCKING COWARD , yes i soo dont needa man
i've had enough from fabian ,
im sorry :'(
PS: its hard to convince me , i've been put through so much

& Im busy zoning out :)

this

2011-02-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

my life has been in such a huge mess recently ,

had a tough time sorting things out

& broke several ties with certain people ,

this low self esteem thing really eats you up

& makes you feel extremely useless and worthless

but sometimes when you have awesome besties & a loving mum

to turn to , things will be fine (:

it takes confidence to build someone or break someone ,

fortunately it built me & guess what ,

no immature bitch like you aint breaking me apart

its alright if im single this valentine ,

im mugging hard this year & i have friends to make this year blissful ,

i dont need a man (:

blood

2011-02-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

introducing my younger brother ,

the one who plays one of the leading role in this life for now (:

my story this valentine

2011-01-30T15:48:00.000+08:00

how awesome ehyy ?

♠

2011-01-30T15:43:00.002+08:00

im loosing hope , i want my spongebob back :(

2011-01-29T21:18:00.000+08:00

PS: things aint fine w/o you , come back .

☺

2011-01-28T18:24:00.000+08:00

sheeesh im hungry , alright bye . i could have done a wayy better dance sequence then you

♣

2011-01-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

nothing is going right , everything's left .

i should start to isolate & concentrate on my f-ing books

like what they all say .

on the verge of giving up my current phone ,

its pissing , really

2011-01-25T17:03:00.000+08:00

Deejays like you deserves to be honored , really
your music is good (:
my hunger pangs are really getting uncontrollable
after seeing all these foodstuff ,
they look just tooo goood !
Alright i better get off to mug ,
toodles yaw :D

Sheesh

2011-01-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

dayuuum , i miss you cookie (:

its only mon & its freaking irritating

oh well school curriculum is gonna get extended ,

FML , itsokayeh .

my batch will produce results unlike all those losers out there

alright , i gotta get ready for dinner ,

tuition later , gotta see those irritating faces

once again , k thx bye

PS: your momma wont object anym ;)

♥

2011-01-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

> 14 months & 7 days . Jaan , ily boob (:

IMMATURE

2011-01-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

really immature ,
well , i've got nothing to say about how immature
you are .

lol , dont worry , i aint crossing your path again
your man , aint a good one , neither am i
but you'know what , your really dumb ,
you ought to demonstrate to me how would
one fuck themself . lol !

oh thats really dumb , din i tell you that
your so immature that your ex left ya ?
oh my , pity you . Hope you realise your mistake soon
cause lady , he aint anything good .
he will spoil you , trust me at this ,
you either buy it , or learn from experience ,
your choice lor

your obsessed with him & a girl , eew , wtf much
omg , no link at all , sorry boob .

im typing whatever comes to my mind ,
without even thinking about how its gonna affect ya
sorry KIDDO , you fucking pedo -.-

↕

2011-01-13T17:45:00.002+08:00

Coffee & Ciggs

i just feel like puffing

iknow

2011-01-12T16:52:00.000+08:00

► Does he love you the way i do ? like i used to :')

♂

2011-01-08T21:19:00.000+08:00

Yen Jannal

a new choreography ,

` bloww your lil mind

◄

2011-01-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

ading ading - odipolama

my current addiction :D `♥

2011-01-06T18:38:00.000+08:00

im tired of everything , really

school , dnt , dance , the new p

& the old conversations , past memories

everything

but i'll push myself ,

i'll make everyone of you who pinned high hopes

on me proud ,

i promise :|

►

2011-01-05T17:04:00.000+08:00

like a mask that we put on ,

i never felt this bad before ,

its really alright .

just stuff it in , suck it up & move on .

oh yea , you got any questions for me ?

ask me on tumblr

Click here

toodles yaw , im exhausted

8

2011-01-04T17:09:00.000+08:00

this is what's going on ,

well not really but somewhat like that .

have you ever fallen in love with your best guy friend ?

sorry , im letting go ,

study hard boob , its a's !

♫

2011-01-03T20:38:00.000+08:00

that's exactly what you'll have to do ,

not ponder over shitass thoughts ,

cause they wont bother k ,

GET.THIS.INTO.YOUR.MFING.BRAIN.

he aint coming back ,

stop dreaming , start living -.-

•

2011-01-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

they remind me of you , me & the moments we had

it SUCKS , totally -.-

2011-01-02T12:45:00.000+08:00

♥

▬

2011-01-01T16:14:00.000+08:00

Aja we Mahiya

this is so stuck on my mind ,

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS ♠

♣

2010-12-31T16:25:00.000+08:00

we used to be like this :') ,

this is life ,

shit happens , suck it up & move on

its the new year , really start being happy *shows teeth*

2011 might have its own do re mi's

the brave part is when you excel in those dark areas

to prove everyone wrong &

the happiest part is when you achieve

whatever you wanted to

& friends ,

you'll have many , at least this year

find out whose true & stay ,

`& remember to

or laugh ,

is the best medicine to keep you stress-free

& talk things out whenever you feel its necessary (:

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPPPOS :) ♥

§

2010-12-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

I Just Wanna Talk :( ,

Please Tell me If You Dont Want To ,

I Dont Want False Hopes ;'(

↨

2010-12-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

i hope they dont :(

Ü

2010-12-28T14:07:00.002+08:00

so cute :X

2010-12-27T21:19:00.000+08:00

if only i had one -.-

δ

2010-12-24T11:29:00.002+08:00

alright , the infection is soothing down .
but still i needa recover by TOMORROW !
its X'mas bitch !

whats the most loving memory you ever had

2010-12-23T19:25:00.001+08:00

the time when we watched a movie together , despite the horrible genre ;) ☮

►

2010-12-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

nothing like you ☮

2010-12-20T13:25:00.002+08:00

GO SUCK BALLS & ROT , DECAY , OH WHATEVER

- immature 15 year olds -.-

2010-12-20T13:23:00.001+08:00

♫

2010-12-19T20:00:00.002+08:00

L

2010-12-19T19:59:00.002+08:00

so badly that i cry to sleep

2010-12-17T13:32:00.000+08:00

Irava Pagala - Poovellam Ketupar

something soothing :D

:S

2010-12-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

Twist Song - love aaj kal

`& we twist and twist ♥